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Rocky Mountain Ruby 2023 - A blueprint for making scary choices by Davy Stevenson In early 2021 I made the scariest decision of my life — I decided that I was going to stop waiting to find a partner and instead I would have a child by myself. My little boy is now 1 year old, and my life path looks completely different than I ever thought. We all are faced with overwhelming decisions in our lives. How do we know what choice is right for us? Through my own journey I've developed a rubric for evaluating these scary choices — whether professional or personal — and I hope that sharing these lessons might be helpful for you.
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In his talk "A Blueprint for Making Scary Choices" at the Rocky Mountain Ruby 2023 conference, Davy Stevenson shares his personal journey of making a pivotal decision to have a child on his own. The session focuses on the universal challenge of making daunting life choices and offers a framework for evaluating such decisions. The key points include: - **Identifying Your Grief**: Recognizing the emotions tied to choices, including sadness, anxiety, and hope, is essential in moving forward. Davy reflects on his own grief regarding failed relationships and the acceptance of his new path in parenthood. - **Embracing Nonlinear Paths**: Society often presents a linear narrative for life milestones, which can restrict personal choices. Davy encourages individuals to explore and visualize alternative paths to achieve their goals, highlighting the importance of flexibility in personal and professional trajectories. - **Committing to Yourself**: Making a significant choice requires self-commitment. Davy emphasizes that understanding the responsibilities associated with a decision helps in preparing for the challenges ahead. His full commitment to parenthood set a positive tone for his experience. - **Focusing on Reciprocity**: Acknowledging whether the relationships and commitments in your life reciprocate your investment is crucial for personal satisfaction. Davy noted that the love received from his son greatly impacted his happiness. - **Uncovering Hidden Benefits**: Rather than solely focusing on the challenges of a decision, recognizing the benefits can help to create a more positive outlook. Davy illustrates this with examples from his own experience as a single parent. - **Taking the Leap**: After navigating through emotions, societal expectations, and hidden benefits, the final step is to embrace the leap toward the decision. This stage is about trusting your preparation and letting life unfold naturally. Davy reflects on his journey through the fertility process as an embodiment of this principle. Overall, Davy's talk encourages an open-minded approach to life's scary choices and emphasizes that personal fulfillment comes from understanding oneself and embracing the journey of decision-making.
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