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Thank you so much for coming. Today, we're going to be talking about building workplaces for caregivers and how to better support parents in tech.
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I’m Kenzie. I work at GitHub with a lot of lovely people here. I specifically work on the deploys team there. I have a son, who's almost two, and I'm also expecting baby number two.
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I apologize in advance because I put a lot of photos of my son, Crew, in this presentation since they were better than the stock photos I found. You may think he's a lot cuter than most of you do, and that's okay.
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I co-lead our Women and Non-Binary Employee Resource Group at GitHub called Ada Cats. I'm also a board member for Bridge Foundry, which is a non-profit that teaches underrepresented groups how to code and access the tech industry.
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I'm really passionate about this organization because it's the only reason I write code. I did a Rails Bridge Workshop back in 2012, and we're starting to bring these workshops back. If you're interested in volunteering, please reach out; we would love to have you.
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When I'm not writing code or volunteering, I’m adventuring outdoors with my family. I really love fly fishing, so if you enjoy that as well, please find me; I'd love to chat about it.
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My goal for you is to walk away feeling inspired to be a leader in this space. Today, I want you to think about one thing you can start doing differently, whether you're a parent or not.
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I did research in this area. I watched past talks, conducted scholarly research, and surveyed parents in the Rails community to understand their experiences as parents in tech. I asked them to describe parenting in three words.
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I received many positive responses like grateful, motivated, and joyful, but I also got a fair share of negative responses: stressed, exhausted, alone, guilty, and overwhelmed. Today, we will focus specifically on guilt and loneliness, two feelings I experienced as a new parent in the tech world and that many of you might relate to.
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I went back to work when my son was six months old, and I'm fortunate that I got that much time with him. I’m proud of GitHub's policy that allows parents, regardless of gender, to take 20 weeks of paid time off. If you are the delivering mother, you get an additional six to eight weeks, which is simply amazing.
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However, when I started back, I began to feel really alone. Loneliness was an unexpected feeling since I was going back to a workplace. None of my close friends were working parents, and I returned to a brand new team due to a reorganization that occurred while I was on parental leave. I found this sentiment to be very common in my research and the surveys I conducted within the Rails community.
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One of the things I longed for was community, so I joined our employee Resource Group called Parent Cats. We also refer to it as a community of belonging, allowing me to connect with other parents facing similar challenges.
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You can initiate your own community if one doesn't exist at your company. It doesn’t necessarily have to be an official employee Resource Group; even a private group can offer support. I also joined informal communities at GitHub via Slack, where I found additional valuable support during my parenting journey.
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Through Parent Cats and other resources from GitHub, I’ve received moral support, useful resources, and advice, which have helped me feel less alone. Everyone struggles with something, and sharing this with my peers has been beneficial. For example, we have dedicated channels for specific interests—like pregnancy or parenting—that have proven to be invaluable.
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Beyond the personal benefits for me, ERGs can significantly impact policy changes. Within GitHub, Parent Cats collaborates with HR and leadership to advocate for major policy changes that positively affect parents.
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For instance, we now have family forming benefits, bereavement leave, and measures for supporting parents traveling with children under one year old, such as reimbursing breast milk shipping costs. These changes greatly alleviate stress for working parents.
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Parent Cats was started after a company off-site where no childcare options were available. It was a burdensome expense to find someone who could care for children during work events. Tess Griffin and Allison McMillan spearheaded this initiative to address the shortcomings.
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I encourage you to join or start an Employee Resource Group to build a community of parents and allies. If there isn't one yet, you can easily create a private channel—taking these initial steps can help foster a supportive environment.
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It’s crucial to speak up within ERGs and advocate for your needs as parents. Tomorrow at 10:15, Colin Fleming will be discussing unionizing, which could provide valuable insights on how to implement beneficial changes within companies through ERGs.
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As I navigated my parenting journey, I noticed that the feelings of loneliness became more manageable. Another negative emotion I encountered was guilt.
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The concept of mom guilt was something I had heard of, but the intensity of it surprised me. This is a prevalent feeling among working parents, impacting decision-making around work and family time.
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Guilt builds from having to make tough choices between responsibilities at work and parenting. This constant tug-of-war can leave parents feeling they’ve failed, regardless of which path they choose.
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One strategy to alleviate this guilt is to actively schedule personal time on your calendar. This can include work meetings or childcare responsibilities. Being open about these tasks and prioritizing them sends the message that they are equally important.
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I love the quote by Glennon Doyle: 'Blessed are those brave enough to make things awkward,' as this approach challenges us to embrace vulnerability, which can lead to meaningful change in the workplace.
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By blocking time on my calendar for things like sleep training and breastfeeding, I quickly noticed positive outcomes. Meetings were less frequently scheduled over these important moments, and this alleviated some stress to ensure that my priorities were recognized.
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Taking time off can often be guilt-inducing, particularly with unlimited PTO policies. It can feel complicated as a parent trying to balance the needs of family and work obligations. I found it challenging to navigate the amount of time off that feels appropriate.
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Moreover, many parents experience challenges in taking time off for sick children. Many try to balance work and caring for family members simultaneously; I encourage you to take a step back and prioritize critical family time.
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When my son is sick, I’ve learned to block time on my calendar and ask for help. Reaching out to colleagues to share these experiences can create a supportive environment where it feels okay for everyone to prioritize family.
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Leading by example speaks volumes. By sharing my experience at work, especially regarding postpartum depression, I’ve built a connected team culture where personal challenges can be openly discussed.
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Communicating these vulnerable moments during retrospectives or one-on-ones is crucial to enhancing workplace relationships. I shared the challenges I faced with sleep on my calendar to express how they affected my work.
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Utilizing these moments to upload personal experiences into general discussions can foster awareness around similar issues, leading to a more comprehensive understanding among coworkers.
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Engaging in company-wide surveys offers another opportunity to express your needs as a parent. Providing feedback directly creates more avenues for improvement at your workplace.
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I also encourage individuals to introspectively challenge their own norms and to be vocal about their needs. Our managers can dictate work habits, and it’s crucial for non-parents to support those with familial obligations.
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Making empathy a priority during interactions with colleagues can help build a culture of support. Encourage fellow team members to take time off when needed and remind them that it’s essential to care for family.
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Leading by example is vital. For instance, my manager openly blocks time to attend his children's events. His actions make me feel empowered to take similar time for my family.
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Even if you do not have kids, modeling this behavior of prioritizing important calendar events cultivates a culture of support. It provides assurance to parents that their commitments are viewed as valuable.
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Reflect on the small changes you can make—whether it be blocking time in your calendar or suggesting initiatives in company surveys that relate to supporting working parents. Parenting is tough, and it’s imperative that we're all working together to ease these challenges.
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Thank you so much! Thanks for bearing with me through the technical difficulties. I appreciate the support from those who helped me get this presentation up and running. Let’s keep connecting and empowering each other in the space. I'm here to chat with anyone interested in parenting concerns or getting involved with initiatives like Bridge Foundry.
