Talks

Change the Climate Before Changing the Weather

Unless you're self-employed you work for a system. That system is comprised of its own culture in decision making, inclusivity, and a lot more. As one person in a system how can you make an impact on it? Sometimes you can’t change the weather, but you can change the climate in your own room. You may even find that if you change the temperature in enough rooms, surprisingly, you end up changing the weather. In this talk, we’ll discuss a process of systems change that is ground up, going from the micro to the macro. You’ll leave more empowered to start changing the climate in your own workplace.

RubyConf 2022

00:00:00.000 ready for takeoff
00:00:17.220 hello everyone
00:00:19.440 how you doing
00:00:21.779 Ruby cops going so good so far
00:00:25.019 yeah that I I felt a little enthusiastic
00:00:27.660 in the front here but not in the back so
00:00:29.400 much it's going good it's great
00:00:32.059 awesome well we're going to talk about
00:00:34.440 something which hopefully won't bring
00:00:35.700 down the mood too much which is how hard
00:00:38.520 it is to bring change into your
00:00:40.620 organizations it's really challenging if
00:00:43.620 anyone's ever experienced wanting to do
00:00:45.059 something different the company they
00:00:46.260 work for see a couple head nods hand
00:00:48.960 raises did you experience any challenges
00:00:51.480 at all
00:00:52.440 none it was perfectly seamless perfect
00:00:55.320 it was amazing for those of us who are
00:00:57.780 not as fortunate as you who have
00:00:59.520 experienced some challenges I hope in
00:01:00.780 our time together we'll present a
00:01:02.640 framework on how to really grapple with
00:01:04.799 that and we call this talk changing the
00:01:07.140 climate before changing the weather and
00:01:10.080 hopefully we'll see why in just a couple
00:01:12.000 minutes so I want to start with a bit of
00:01:15.240 an axiomatic truth I believe that
00:01:18.619 workplaces are difficult they're
00:01:22.200 challenging they're challenging on many
00:01:24.299 different layers they're difficult often
00:01:27.000 to get onboarded into you know as the
00:01:29.460 experience of a new employee in an
00:01:31.200 organization even with the best
00:01:33.540 onboarding docs right the best
00:01:35.579 onboarding guides he really hard to
00:01:37.920 figure out what exactly you're supposed
00:01:40.680 to be doing in that first 30 days 60
00:01:45.060 days 90 days you may be the kind of
00:01:47.820 person that wants to feel productive and
00:01:50.340 then you start in a new company you have
00:01:52.200 a College finding that experience of
00:01:54.360 productivity because you're just
00:01:55.979 engaging in a lot of learning and
00:01:58.020 learning doesn't necessarily feel
00:01:58.979 productive even though it's really
00:02:00.240 productive and you don't know what you
00:02:01.560 should be learning
00:02:02.880 Etc it can be really really hard to find
00:02:06.780 your place in a company who are your
00:02:09.000 people that you should be getting to
00:02:11.160 know who are the communities within the
00:02:13.920 company that is important to get your
00:02:15.720 job most effectively done unless you
00:02:18.180 have a mentor a buddy system of some
00:02:20.220 sort be really really hard and as a
00:02:23.280 result it can just be hard to feel like
00:02:25.020 you're getting your job done but in the
00:02:27.180 context of our conversation workplaces I
00:02:30.480 want to focus in on what is most
00:02:32.160 notoriously Difficult about workplaces
00:02:34.080 and perhaps we can say the same for
00:02:36.720 organizations writ large that workplaces
00:02:40.020 are notoriously difficult at adapting to
00:02:43.620 change
00:02:44.640 really hard the larger the organization
00:02:47.640 even though it doesn't necessarily
00:02:49.200 correspond with size but oftentimes that
00:02:50.940 could be the experience the slower it
00:02:53.340 moves the slower it adapts the more
00:02:55.980 resistors there are to those changes so
00:02:59.400 in our time together uh in the next few
00:03:01.920 minutes we're going to try and do three
00:03:03.900 things we're going to try and address
00:03:06.080 why exactly is that the case why are
00:03:09.900 workplaces so hard to change and then
00:03:13.860 we're going to show a three-step
00:03:15.480 framework to help perhaps address these
00:03:18.720 kind of problem this kind of issue and
00:03:21.180 how you might be able to affect change
00:03:23.159 in your organization and lastly we'll
00:03:25.620 conclude with one uh relatively uh
00:03:28.440 compact practical example that
00:03:30.659 illustrates that framework in action
00:03:33.120 sound good
00:03:34.500 good awesome so but first of all I just
00:03:37.379 got into Stage I just started talking to
00:03:38.940 you you're like who is this guy talking
00:03:41.040 to me about things was he invited to
00:03:43.860 speak here maybe he just took up the spa
00:03:45.299 I don't know so hello everyone my name
00:03:47.580 is Ben I work as a developer relations
00:03:50.099 engineer at a company based in Germany
00:03:51.840 called parity Technologies and I myself
00:03:54.540 am a second career developer I
00:03:56.700 previously spent a decade working as a
00:03:58.739 congregational Rabbi and a community
00:04:00.299 organizer throughout the US before I
00:04:03.060 came and moved to Israel and now I'm
00:04:04.739 based outside of Tel Aviv in Israel uh
00:04:08.400 and the side I do a couple small
00:04:09.780 projects for fun one of them is called
00:04:12.299 hire the pivot because I really am
00:04:14.040 passionate about people like me career
00:04:16.320 transitioners people have taken that
00:04:18.299 brave courageous step to move forward
00:04:19.859 into a new career so it's a reverse job
00:04:22.139 board written in rails for second career
00:04:24.600 developers and I do write an occasional
00:04:26.940 newsletter not as often as I would like
00:04:28.500 that tries to find the intersection
00:04:30.540 between homos
00:04:32.220 and Ruby on Rails my two favorite
00:04:35.160 passions in life good hummus and good
00:04:38.280 rails so uh it's really great to be here
00:04:41.340 so let's try and
00:04:44.160 understand the problem what is going on
00:04:47.759 when we talk about the challenges of
00:04:50.940 workplace
00:04:52.759 adaptation that's a very live microphone
00:04:55.440 okay so what essentially is an
00:04:58.139 organization because we have to start at
00:05:00.240 the very beginning when we talk about
00:05:02.040 organizations we talk about companies
00:05:04.020 what are we actually talking about what
00:05:07.440 we're actually talking about from a
00:05:08.699 systems theory perspective is any
00:05:10.560 organization whether it's your workplace
00:05:12.780 whether it's your Meetup Group whether
00:05:15.000 it's your family particularly your
00:05:17.040 family but for our context your
00:05:19.139 workplace a workplace is made up of many
00:05:22.020 different smaller systems subsystems
00:05:24.600 that come together to form that greater
00:05:26.400 whole so for example let's say you're on
00:05:28.500 because it's a ruby conference let's say
00:05:30.060 you're on one of the back end teams
00:05:32.039 right you may interact with the
00:05:34.080 front-end developers pretty regularly
00:05:35.699 you may interact with the devops cicd
00:05:38.520 kind of people pretty often as well you
00:05:41.100 may interact with product managers
00:05:42.720 hopefully a good healthy relationship
00:05:44.580 you probably don't interact with the
00:05:47.039 marketing and the inbound sales people
00:05:48.600 that often if at all maybe a company
00:05:51.360 Retreats once they year or something and
00:05:53.759 you probably will interact with human
00:05:55.139 resources at some point throughout each
00:05:57.000 year for a party or a gift they're
00:05:59.160 sending you and hopefully nothing
00:06:00.240 negative but just those lovely gifts
00:06:02.400 they send in the mail things like that
00:06:04.020 but this despite how little or how much
00:06:07.259 you interact with these different
00:06:08.639 entities all of them come together to
00:06:12.120 form that larger whole which is sort of
00:06:15.539 like a good well-designed rails app in
00:06:18.300 the sense that every rail zap is made up
00:06:19.919 of the MVC framework models views and
00:06:21.960 controllers right and every single model
00:06:24.539 every single view every single
00:06:25.979 controller should ideally function
00:06:28.020 independent and be able to that's code
00:06:30.539 should not have to know about what's
00:06:32.400 going on inside the other thing but yet
00:06:35.340 they all come together to form the
00:06:38.039 greater application right the model is
00:06:40.560 built not assuming it knows about the
00:06:42.780 controller and vice versa but a model
00:06:45.240 without a controller a view without a
00:06:47.039 model Etc they're not going to work if
00:06:49.199 you don't all bring them together into
00:06:50.460 one larger application so similarly at
00:06:53.460 the end of the day they're all part of a
00:06:54.539 larger hole which is the same with your
00:06:55.800 company or your organization that all
00:06:59.160 these parts Human Resources the back end
00:07:00.840 team the front end team they're all
00:07:03.000 together in some ways each of your
00:07:05.039 departments is kind of like its own
00:07:06.900 smaller climate in a company that we're
00:07:09.539 circling back right to the title each of
00:07:12.060 your uh departments is kind of like its
00:07:15.120 own climate its own culture and together
00:07:17.639 what do they form
00:07:19.860 what's the title
00:07:21.479 the weather exactly all together the
00:07:25.080 different subclimates you're you're
00:07:27.000 brilliant you're right you're right on
00:07:28.380 it with me I see you we're we're
00:07:30.240 connected I get it so all together they
00:07:32.880 come to form the larger whole the larger
00:07:35.759 weather so given that framework of
00:07:39.120 trying to understand
00:07:40.819 organizations I want to present you a
00:07:43.620 screenshot of something that may or may
00:07:45.660 not look familiar to you this is from a
00:07:49.319 slackbot called the gender inclusive
00:07:51.539 slack but anyone familiar with this
00:07:53.580 yeah I see actually a good amount of
00:07:55.380 hands so maybe your company uses
00:07:57.479 asynchronous chat platforms like slack
00:07:59.880 Etc and at some point it was discussed
00:08:02.699 or it happened it was implemented this
00:08:05.099 gender inclusive slack bot and what's
00:08:06.660 the notion the gender inclusive slack
00:08:07.979 but that in companies with multiple
00:08:10.139 genders all agendas are presented when
00:08:12.300 you're addressing a group of people you
00:08:14.160 should address the maximum number of
00:08:15.660 people you can in a room and not just
00:08:17.940 the people who identify as male in the
00:08:19.979 room right so instead of hey guys hey
00:08:22.500 all hey folks hey y'all so many options
00:08:25.259 and I happen to love this example for
00:08:28.319 many reasons the one the reason I really
00:08:30.720 like this example is because the ask of
00:08:34.320 the people in the room in the company is
00:08:37.260 pretty small
00:08:38.520 the ask is to change a word when you're
00:08:41.039 addressing the group right but the net
00:08:43.560 positive result of doing that can be
00:08:46.140 quite large
00:08:47.399 so I love this example for us to hone in
00:08:49.800 on to talk about organizational change
00:08:51.779 because what's the experience sometimes
00:08:54.839 like when this conversation happens
00:08:58.080 sometimes it's really really positive
00:09:01.560 and I've been in those rooms in those
00:09:03.180 companies where it's been really
00:09:04.080 positive other times it's something like
00:09:06.899 this
00:09:07.800 everyone is shouting into their laptops
00:09:10.680 and these are all by the way all
00:09:12.180 generated with generative AI things like
00:09:14.640 with prompts so sometimes you know the
00:09:17.940 experience is everyone's shouting into
00:09:19.500 their laptops and streaming no yes no
00:09:22.260 and it's a fight and the Public Square
00:09:24.420 becomes more like a boxing ring of your
00:09:27.060 company and everyone's shouting at the
00:09:29.040 end of the day you're making a small ask
00:09:31.800 that could bring about a positive net
00:09:34.320 change and yet the reaction can be like
00:09:37.320 that
00:09:38.279 and that what's challenging about this
00:09:40.519 is we often think that our companies are
00:09:44.399 filled with relatively intelligent
00:09:46.080 people
00:09:47.160 what what I love that an instantaneous
00:09:51.180 reaction it's just like right there it
00:09:54.060 was like a psychological test of some
00:09:56.160 sort when I say that what do you say
00:09:58.140 what we often think and and you know
00:10:01.260 there's whole conversations to be had
00:10:02.760 the way that we hire in fact I have
00:10:04.680 given talks on that conversation the way
00:10:07.500 that we conduct hiring and there's so
00:10:09.240 many challenges about that but what
00:10:11.519 those tests and whiteboarding challenges
00:10:13.860 can you implement a bubble sword
00:10:15.839 algorithm on a whiteboard and reverse a
00:10:18.060 string without using reverse and all
00:10:20.220 kinds of Interest things what they're
00:10:21.360 trying to do and I think they do it
00:10:22.980 spectacularly horrible but what they're
00:10:24.779 trying to do is they're trying to filter
00:10:27.120 for intelligence right and Einstein I
00:10:30.779 think so uh aptly said that what is the
00:10:33.300 ultimate measure of intelligence it's
00:10:35.100 the ability to change the ability to
00:10:38.459 take in new information
00:10:40.680 process it and adapt
00:10:43.380 and yet if that's the measure of
00:10:45.420 intelligence we and I include myself in
00:10:48.240 this we and maybe some of you as well we
00:10:51.120 so often fail at that
00:10:54.240 so often so when we point the finger at
00:10:56.279 the people in our company we should also
00:10:57.600 point the finger at ourselves
00:10:59.220 we so often fail and I think the reason
00:11:02.040 why it could be from the nuanced sort of
00:11:04.680 positioning of this uh expression from
00:11:06.720 Einstein from the late Harvard
00:11:08.399 paleontologist Stephen gold who said
00:11:10.740 that single facts almost and I love this
00:11:14.100 evocative language almost never slay
00:11:16.140 World Views
00:11:17.820 at least not right away
00:11:20.220 meaning when you get in a new piece of
00:11:22.920 information that challenges the way you
00:11:24.899 do something
00:11:26.040 challenges how you think how you operate
00:11:30.060 well an intelligent person according to
00:11:32.100 Einstein would take it in process it
00:11:33.660 think about it and adapt but we're not
00:11:35.700 just intelligent people we're also
00:11:37.860 emotional people we're also irrational
00:11:40.440 people all of us we have a lot of things
00:11:43.620 going on in our head and one of those
00:11:46.019 things going on in our head is people
00:11:48.240 generally don't like being wrong
00:11:50.399 they generally dislike the experience of
00:11:52.800 being told the way they're doing
00:11:54.060 something the way they've done it for
00:11:55.800 their entire life
00:11:57.360 maybe there ought to be a better way
00:12:00.019 oftentimes that is not the a positive
00:12:03.779 experience for a person
00:12:05.519 so given that if people don't like
00:12:07.620 generally being wrong or feeling like
00:12:09.600 they're being told they're being wrong
00:12:11.000 or don't like the change because it
00:12:13.380 challenges the way they do things so
00:12:15.600 then how do you ever bring about change
00:12:19.440 it's a fundamental question
00:12:21.899 without forcing it and causing a lot of
00:12:25.500 discontented people
00:12:27.360 how do you ever bring about change
00:12:29.700 so that's what we're going to do
00:12:30.720 together we're going to present three
00:12:32.459 possible paths as part of a larger
00:12:34.740 framework of how to bring that change
00:12:36.600 and help move that ain't that the prompt
00:12:38.579 for that by the way was moving an angry
00:12:40.560 Mountain I think that pretty much
00:12:41.880 encapsates it uh to move that angry
00:12:45.320 discontented Mountain forward with some
00:12:48.839 framework a loose framework for a change
00:12:51.660 so we start from where does the change
00:12:53.760 come from you're in your company your
00:12:56.639 company is multi-faceted multi-layered
00:12:59.519 regardless if it's 800 people or 10
00:13:01.680 people there's a lot of complexity in a
00:13:03.720 company and you are somewhere over there
00:13:06.899 in the company
00:13:08.940 and you've maybe been there for a few
00:13:10.800 months but you've been there for a few
00:13:11.940 years it doesn't matter really matter
00:13:13.560 you have an idea a new way of doing
00:13:16.920 something maybe it's a new way to assign
00:13:19.200 reviewers to pull requests maybe it's a
00:13:21.480 new way you say you should squash the
00:13:22.920 commits they say they should rebase the
00:13:24.240 commits and you were starting a whole
00:13:26.100 conversation and you raise your hand
00:13:29.160 and you say excuse me I have a question
00:13:32.339 I think there might be something better
00:13:34.019 to do here
00:13:35.399 I want to First offer the the the fact
00:13:39.060 the reality I want to get let us in the
00:13:42.480 right positioning that the very Act of
00:13:45.540 doing that
00:13:46.920 of raising your hands with a suggestion
00:13:49.980 can be for many of us
00:13:52.260 absolutely
00:13:54.380 completely terrifying
00:13:57.660 when you give in and the idea that a
00:14:00.000 company is really complex full of many
00:14:02.820 different layers and a lot of people and
00:14:05.760 you kind of feel like you're just one of
00:14:07.320 the masses to stand out whether it's
00:14:10.680 remotely or in person whether it's on an
00:14:12.899 asynchronous chat platform or it's
00:14:14.339 during a daily stand-up or what have you
00:14:16.320 can feel really terrifying so the first
00:14:20.220 thing that needs to be articulated is to
00:14:22.500 have courage
00:14:24.240 to take the action
00:14:26.639 but courage you're not born with it
00:14:29.040 you're not born with courage courage is
00:14:32.100 something you develop it's something you
00:14:33.480 articulate over time something you build
00:14:35.940 and I often I love this quote from Maya
00:14:38.519 Angelou because I think it's so eloquent
00:14:40.800 and so uh profound in its Simplicity
00:14:43.980 right so she says that people are not
00:14:45.420 born with courage you develop it by
00:14:47.399 doing small courageous things then she
00:14:49.560 gives this example maybe you want to be
00:14:51.420 a person who lifts 50 pound bags of rice
00:14:53.339 you know that's an aspiration we all
00:14:55.260 want to lift 50-pound bags of rice in
00:14:56.880 our life we don't just start with a 50
00:14:58.920 pound bag of rice I mean maybe you do
00:15:00.779 but most of us don't start with 50 pound
00:15:02.699 bags of rice we typically would start
00:15:04.199 with a five pound bag of rice get the
00:15:07.560 string then go to 10 pounds to a 25
00:15:09.540 pound to then one day we can look at the
00:15:12.420 50 pound bag of rice and like yeah I got
00:15:14.579 that I can do that easily but that
00:15:16.740 moment didn't come from nowhere that
00:15:18.839 moment came from going through a process
00:15:21.060 a journey of doing small things to build
00:15:23.760 that strength so too with taking the
00:15:27.720 ability with with fostering the courage
00:15:30.300 and culcating that sense in yourself
00:15:32.100 that you can raise your hand in a
00:15:34.740 company in organization and say
00:15:36.720 something
00:15:37.620 and like Maya Angelou I often think
00:15:39.720 because for my own tradition I think of
00:15:41.399 a Jewish ethicist from the early 1900s
00:15:43.860 in the in Poland to change the face of
00:15:46.260 Jewish ethics for over a hundred years
00:15:48.540 and he talks about in later in his life
00:15:50.639 during his career how he first when he
00:15:53.880 just became a new Young Rabbi and he
00:15:56.160 wanted to go out in the world and change
00:15:57.240 everything and change the world they're
00:15:59.639 everywhere thought like I'm going to
00:16:00.600 change the world you graduate college
00:16:02.040 you throw your cap in the air like yes
00:16:04.440 the world is mine and then you realize
00:16:07.440 you fail
00:16:08.639 you can't change the world it's really
00:16:11.940 really hard there's a lot of resistors
00:16:14.579 so he said you know what can't change
00:16:16.620 the world I'm gonna go back and just
00:16:18.839 change my city
00:16:20.160 those are the folks I know people I grew
00:16:22.560 up with this is my community so I'm
00:16:24.899 gonna go back to my city in Poland and
00:16:26.519 I'm going to change just my city
00:16:29.399 he also failed
00:16:31.139 in fact I might have been harder than
00:16:33.420 trying to change the world can imagine
00:16:34.500 trying to change your neighbors
00:16:37.139 that's an audacious proposition so he
00:16:39.480 said okay I'm gonna pivot again I'm
00:16:41.579 gonna try and just change myself
00:16:43.980 and at that point he succeeded
00:16:46.620 but just changing himself he didn't end
00:16:48.540 there right because I told you he
00:16:50.459 changed this is Rabbi Israel Kagan he
00:16:53.040 ended up changing the face of Jewish
00:16:54.720 ethics for over a hundred years
00:16:57.240 tremendous ways
00:16:58.920 he really succeeded in changing an
00:17:00.660 entire community
00:17:01.980 but it started with himself
00:17:04.439 so the first principle is to be what you
00:17:07.319 want to see
00:17:08.520 if you want to see it happen it starts
00:17:10.679 with you it cannot start actually any
00:17:13.799 other way
00:17:15.480 any other way this is the way it has to
00:17:19.380 start with you
00:17:21.299 the second principle I think is most
00:17:23.579 articulated at least in my reference
00:17:25.140 points from a person named Saul Alinsky
00:17:27.480 who was the father of community
00:17:28.740 organizing in sort of the mid 20th
00:17:30.480 century in the United States in Chicago
00:17:31.760 and he forced us as a society to Center
00:17:36.900 on a notion of self-interest
00:17:39.419 and so often in the ethics that were
00:17:41.640 raised in the cultures that we come from
00:17:43.380 we see self-interest as a dirty word
00:17:47.220 we see it as something to not be talk
00:17:49.260 about to shy away from you're not
00:17:51.480 supposed to have self-interest supposed
00:17:53.280 to be interested in others altruistic
00:17:55.559 but olinsky says if you ignore
00:17:57.179 self-interest you actually won't be able
00:17:59.100 to accomplish anything
00:18:00.780 because self-interest is integral
00:18:02.460 because in every single person every
00:18:06.000 single human is made up of so many
00:18:08.340 competing wants and desires fears
00:18:12.960 hopes dreams things that make us every
00:18:16.679 one of us in this room right now make us
00:18:18.840 get up in the morning and do the things
00:18:20.580 we do
00:18:21.840 the things that make us push and do that
00:18:24.360 annoying jira ticket we don't want to do
00:18:27.360 because we're composed of these things
00:18:29.340 in our head
00:18:30.780 and if you want to bring change in the
00:18:32.700 world yes you start with yourself but if
00:18:34.799 you only start with your if you only end
00:18:36.240 with yourself you've accomplished
00:18:38.100 minimally
00:18:39.660 to start building change we need to do
00:18:41.460 you need to build power
00:18:44.280 with other people
00:18:46.320 and the way you build power with other
00:18:48.240 people is to identify the self-interest
00:18:50.700 of others
00:18:52.020 and to build a shared narrative for
00:18:55.020 change with the self-interest of other
00:18:56.340 humans
00:18:59.220 do you just go up to somebody be like
00:19:00.900 hey you know you were the person who was
00:19:02.580 able to make change without any
00:19:03.720 resistance can you tell me what what
00:19:05.820 your hopes and dreams are in life
00:19:07.620 can you reveal to your deepest fears and
00:19:09.600 wants I you know we just met but I would
00:19:11.940 love to know them
00:19:13.380 that that could be a bit of an awkward
00:19:15.539 conversation but you do it by really
00:19:19.200 having intentional active listening
00:19:21.840 conversations with people now when I
00:19:24.240 first was Learning Community organizing
00:19:25.559 you know many years ago and I was taught
00:19:27.840 by one of my Educators yeah active
00:19:29.820 listening like yeah of course we all
00:19:32.280 octave listen we listen all the time
00:19:33.840 what are you talking about I'm listening
00:19:35.700 to you actively I listen to this person
00:19:37.200 actively I'm listening to everyone
00:19:39.179 actively right because I'm not passive
00:19:41.580 I'm active
00:19:43.320 so wrong active listening is actually
00:19:46.799 really challenging and we can collapse
00:19:49.500 active listening into kind of five
00:19:51.299 elements the five elements that I think
00:19:53.940 are important for this conversation is
00:19:55.559 first when you're listening to somebody
00:19:57.360 else pay attention to them how often and
00:20:01.140 the hallway track of Rubicon from the
00:20:02.820 past day two days or so were you in a
00:20:05.400 conversation with somebody and as they
00:20:07.440 were talking a part of your brain was
00:20:09.539 thinking about what you're going to say
00:20:10.679 immediately when their mouth stops
00:20:13.320 how normal is that that's so normal
00:20:16.919 because you don't want to have a lull in
00:20:18.900 the conversation
00:20:20.100 so you immediately while you're
00:20:22.080 listening a part of you is also thinking
00:20:23.640 what you're going to say
00:20:24.900 in active listening conversations that
00:20:26.820 can't happen
00:20:28.140 the second thing how often when you're
00:20:30.360 listening to somebody do you start
00:20:33.000 judging
00:20:34.740 kind of saying well that's that's a
00:20:37.020 weird idea
00:20:38.400 where did they get that from what
00:20:41.340 I don't think that way
00:20:43.320 so part of active listening is one to
00:20:46.320 stop thinking what you're going to say
00:20:47.760 next second stop judging as they're
00:20:51.539 talking
00:20:52.740 so what are you meant to do if you're
00:20:54.299 not judging which is so fun so often
00:20:57.059 and you're not thinking what you're
00:20:58.620 going to say next what are you supposed
00:21:00.120 to be doing reflecting
00:21:02.520 you're listening and you're in the
00:21:04.620 moment you know you could be in a busy
00:21:06.660 room you could be in your lunchroom at a
00:21:08.460 company like a traditional office you
00:21:10.320 could be anywhere and the world's around
00:21:12.059 you but in that moment the best
00:21:13.620 one-to-ones it's just you and that
00:21:15.299 person
00:21:16.260 and you're with that person exclusively
00:21:19.440 and you are just reflecting on the
00:21:21.720 experience of what they're saying how
00:21:23.640 does it make you feel what is it what
00:21:26.039 kind of emotions is it bringing up
00:21:27.960 reflecting in that moment and then when
00:21:30.299 it's your turn to speak what are you
00:21:32.520 meant to say you're not supposed to
00:21:33.480 judge them which was the whole point of
00:21:35.100 civil discourse if you can't judge
00:21:36.360 somebody you're not supposed to judge
00:21:37.980 them and you're supposed to be paying
00:21:39.600 attention so you don't have immediately
00:21:40.860 equipped to say right away so what do
00:21:43.440 you say instead you clarify
00:21:46.320 and you summarize
00:21:48.480 clarification is super important because
00:21:51.120 clarification makes sure that they get
00:21:53.100 another opportunity to let you know what
00:21:55.380 they meant even if you didn't understand
00:21:56.580 it especially when you didn't understand
00:21:57.720 it right away so I thought you said this
00:21:59.820 is that what you said
00:22:01.260 summary is this is what I heard you say
00:22:03.659 and you do that enough with enough
00:22:05.220 people you start understanding sort of
00:22:07.440 the fabric of the team you're on what
00:22:09.600 moves you what motivates people and
00:22:11.039 you're coming with your self-interest
00:22:12.780 because self-interest is not a bad word
00:22:14.580 you're coming with your self-interest
00:22:16.200 which is you want to bring about a
00:22:17.400 change and you start listening and then
00:22:19.799 after the conversation when you walk
00:22:21.179 away that's when you start thinking
00:22:23.100 about tactics and strategies not in the
00:22:25.980 conversation
00:22:27.059 so the second principle is a seek to
00:22:28.620 understand the self-interest of others
00:22:30.539 and the third idea the third sort of
00:22:33.299 principle in our framework is from a
00:22:35.640 research done in Harvard Business Review
00:22:36.900 in 2021 that most of our life is routine
00:22:40.559 we spend most of our life doing the
00:22:43.140 things that we always do from morning
00:22:44.580 until we go to sleep we may think we're
00:22:46.919 making a lot of free choices using free
00:22:49.140 will but we're usually not kind of just
00:22:51.059 doing the things we just do
00:22:52.679 so if you want to bring about change
00:22:54.360 that's lasting you slowly integrate one
00:22:57.600 thing at a time
00:22:58.860 and make that part of the new routine
00:23:00.720 you constitute a new routine with a new
00:23:02.760 thing the new thing could be additive or
00:23:05.159 reductive you either changing something
00:23:07.140 reducing it removing it or you're adding
00:23:09.240 a new thing one step at a time
00:23:12.480 until it becomes routine so how does
00:23:14.760 that work now you've done your
00:23:16.620 self-interest conversations you
00:23:18.360 understand the narrative in people and
00:23:20.100 you're in your team and you understand
00:23:21.539 there's some folks you agree with you
00:23:22.919 that research showed that the ideal
00:23:25.980 group of people to start bringing about
00:23:28.020 change in a business is about two and a
00:23:31.020 half percent of the company
00:23:33.120 two and a half percent to start with
00:23:35.940 then that two and a half percent start
00:23:37.860 doing this routine plus one small
00:23:40.140 changes incorporating them which grows
00:23:42.840 to twenty percent twenty percent you're
00:23:44.940 now in something what's called
00:23:45.960 significance
00:23:47.220 people in the company know it's
00:23:48.780 happening they understand there's
00:23:50.760 something going on
00:23:52.440 and they can either Buy in or they can
00:23:54.179 ask they can start clarifying it's
00:23:56.280 happening when you reach a sixty percent
00:23:58.500 threshold that's standardization
00:24:01.799 now standardization is not the same
00:24:03.659 thing as it is the only way it is now a
00:24:06.360 possible path it is normal in the
00:24:08.520 company it's part of the culture of the
00:24:10.320 company as one of the options
00:24:12.480 but once you hit 80 that's when it's
00:24:15.720 fully integrated that's what this
00:24:17.460 research research tells us
00:24:19.380 60 is it's now one of the options eighty
00:24:22.380 percent is this is the path
00:24:24.299 this is the way things are done for new
00:24:25.919 joiners in the company this is how it
00:24:27.900 happens but it all starts with 2.5
00:24:31.980 percent of the company now that's a
00:24:34.559 number it's a a percentage what is 2.5
00:24:37.260 so if you're in a company of 500 people
00:24:39.600 that's 12 humans
00:24:42.240 12 people a lot of us don't work in
00:24:44.820 companies with 500 people we may work in
00:24:46.740 companies of 50 people 100 people what's
00:24:48.539 2.5 of 50 people 100 people you're
00:24:51.840 talking about just a few people
00:24:54.720 to build initially the power with to
00:24:57.900 start moving things forward just need a
00:25:00.120 few it's not daunting to start
00:25:03.480 so the third idea is big change starts
00:25:07.140 small first it starts with you you
00:25:10.559 emulate that change then it starts with
00:25:13.140 active listening campaign conversations
00:25:15.179 with the people in your team maybe in
00:25:17.640 your company finding five people six
00:25:21.120 people ten people if you're working at a
00:25:24.000 500 person company and building that
00:25:26.340 power together and then incorporating
00:25:27.960 the changes one step at a time
00:25:31.799 so let's now talk about how we might be
00:25:34.380 able to apply that in practice we
00:25:37.320 started by talking about this gender
00:25:38.820 inclusive slack bot which I think is
00:25:40.799 really a perfect encapsulation of this
00:25:42.299 conversation because it's a small ask
00:25:43.980 with a great net positive potential gain
00:25:46.320 and yet can be very evocative and
00:25:48.299 emotional reaction
00:25:49.620 right
00:25:50.460 so remember this slackbot and remember
00:25:52.919 the reaction to the slack bot which
00:25:55.140 doesn't always happen thankfully but
00:25:56.940 often does happen reactions like this
00:25:58.860 how could we do this differently well I
00:26:02.580 think we can apply our framework which
00:26:04.140 is we start with ourself if we want a
00:26:06.480 space in our companies and our slacks or
00:26:08.520 in our whatever we're using elements
00:26:11.340 Matrix slack Discord you name it like
00:26:14.520 start with yourself you want to have a
00:26:16.320 gender inclusive space speak with gender
00:26:18.600 inclusivity and everything you do and
00:26:21.000 every message and every asynchronous
00:26:22.620 chat and every pull request review and
00:26:24.360 everything be inclusive and then start
00:26:27.960 talking to people in your team it's
00:26:29.520 natural maybe to start with your own
00:26:31.020 team just as a place to organically
00:26:33.659 begin so if you're in like one of the
00:26:35.580 back end micro service teams or
00:26:37.200 something like go have a conversation
00:26:39.120 make a little chat and engage them with
00:26:42.299 the principles of active listening and
00:26:44.340 start building that narrative and then
00:26:46.080 we've identified the self-interest you
00:26:47.640 now have allies who can start building
00:26:50.520 this change with you and then once you
00:26:53.159 have those allies you can start doing
00:26:54.960 small things within the company with the
00:26:57.360 gender inclusive slackbot it might be
00:26:58.860 something like uh incorporating it into
00:27:01.380 your team's chat
00:27:03.539 and then from there incorporating to a
00:27:05.580 chat that is kind of across team chat
00:27:07.559 between your team and maybe one other
00:27:09.900 team like maybe you have a chat of like
00:27:11.520 all engineering teams
00:27:13.559 right so you're in one you your back end
00:27:15.600 team and then you have a chat with like
00:27:17.220 the front-end developers and the devops
00:27:19.320 people and and all this other fun stuff
00:27:21.720 and you bring it together and that's
00:27:23.700 like a cross-collaborative chat so now
00:27:25.140 you bring it there
00:27:26.220 and then now you built more allies
00:27:28.200 and now you go from there to something
00:27:29.580 bigger
00:27:30.659 et cetera et cetera et cetera from two
00:27:31.919 percent until you eventually hit 80
00:27:33.779 percent
00:27:34.679 and the reason why we do this is I think
00:27:36.960 most articulated in the way a poet can
00:27:39.059 only articulate something Julia Carney
00:27:41.279 that little drops of water doing little
00:27:44.700 actions
00:27:46.020 over time can really make the mighty
00:27:49.559 ocean
00:27:50.820 thank you very much