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Hi everyone, this is really exciting to be here.
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Dana and I are going to talk to you a little bit about mentoring. I'm Mary, and I live in Brooklyn, New York. I like dogs, outer space, and doing yoga. I also enjoy learning new things. You can find me on Twitter at @MaryCutrali, on GitHub as Mary Elizabeth, and I work at Paperless Post, which is an online and print stationery company that allows you to create cards that reflect your personal style.
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And I am Danny Glunz. I live in Boulder, Colorado. Right now, I'm into physical books—none of that Kindle stuff. I'm also involved with startups; I'm part of an early-stage startup. Like Mary, I love to learn stuff too, which is how we connect. You can find me on Twitter at @DannyGlunz and on GitHub as DGlunz.
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So, the real question is: who are we? Why are we up here together, and how did we get into this position? Mary and I met at Turing School six months ago and have been pairing ever since. I am an alumni mentor at Turing. I graduated from Hungary Academy in 2012, which was like a precursor to Turing. Now, I work with Mary in a posse-style mentorship.
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In this setup, there are three mentors. Two of us are alumni and one is a professional mentor, and we mentor four to five students at any given time. We're here to answer the question: What does a mentoring relationship look like, and how do you create one for yourself? We have four big steps to cover: one is the phases of the mentorship relationship and what that looks like; second are the trials and tribulations of that process; next are the habits you can adopt to form those relationships; and finally, we will discuss the benefits of doing so and how to replicate the process.
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So, there are four phases, which are covered in numerous management studies about mentorship. We will circle back to these studies several times during our presentation because we believe that science supports many of the points we're about to make.
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The first study that we want to discuss is called The Phases of Mentorship and Their Outcomes, conducted in 1997 by psychologist Georgia T. Chao. She references a foundational study on mentorship by Kathy Kram from 1985. The first phase is the initiation phase. This is like the awkward phase when you get to know each other. We have these meetings where we sit down for about half an hour and talk about ourselves, our feelings, and expectations for the relationship.
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The scientific term for this is that it's when the mentor and mentee recognize each other as someone deserving of attention. It's that relationship-forming phase. During this phase, we take 30 minutes with no coding—a time dedicated to getting to know each other. We discuss our interests, goals for the relationship, and ensure it's a judgment-free space where we can come to each other with any questions.
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So, science suggests that we then move into the cultivation phase. This is the meat of the relationship. In most studies, this lasts for two to five years; however, at Turing and other boot camps, it is much faster—about two to five months. This phase involves sitting down and doing work. It can be anything you want to tackle, as this is when you and your protege get to know each other’s skill sets. You focus on developing particular skills and preparing your protege to enter the real world.
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This leads us to the separation phase, which I am currently in at Turing. This is the last month or module of the program, when most developers are job hunting and applying for interviews. It's crucial during this phase to be able to come to Mary and ask questions like, 'What should I wear to the interview?' or 'What kind of questions will they ask?' We can review sample interview questions together.
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However, mentors and proteges often face anxiety during this phase because it’s not clear when it will end. You start to wonder, 'Is my mentee leaving me because they don’t like my style? Am I not meeting their needs?' Meanwhile, the mentee might be thinking, 'Does my mentor not care to work with me anymore? Do they think I have surpassed them?'
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The key to successfully navigating this phase is maintaining open and honest communication. This leads us to the redefinition phase. In this phase, you and your mentee have spent some time apart. They might have gotten a job, shifted to different fields, or are taking time off. When you come back together, it’s more like peers. You can discuss problems freely, and that judgment-free context still exists, but the relationship evolves to be more equal, more like friends.
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At this point, we may not have our weekly pairing sessions, but I still feel I can approach Mary with any questions I might have regarding my day-to-day job. Now, what habits support this kind of mentoring relationship? How do we successfully get through these phases?
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The NIH Management Center and several business magazines have conducted studies on the seven habits of highly successful mentors. These studies illustrate that being a good mentor requires certain traits: active listening, dedication, curiosity, engagement, and willingness, along with respectfulness and responsibility, also known as the three R's.
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So, we have these concepts from studies, but how do we make them applicable and actionable in real life? First, make a schedule. Pair at least once a week for an hour and a half. Ensure that your mentee knows they have that time every week; it motivates them to come prepared and do the work.
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Mentoring can be different for many mentors. A lot of us might not have the flexibility in our workday to be available for our mentees, especially if they're on different schedules. For instance, I set aside dedicated time to be fully present with my mentee and allow them to reach out to me through asynchronous channels such as Slack or Skype. This way, if they have a question, they can message me, and I can respond on my own time during the day. This offers them the comfort of knowing I’m accessible without requiring constant availability.
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Being flexible with scheduling is also important. If either the mentee or the mentor cannot make it to a session, there should not be penalties. Just respect each other’s time. Another actionable step is to do work when you pair. We use tools like Screen Hero, and I often drive the sessions, but it’s usually more helpful for the mentee to drive while the mentor helps guide them in the right direction rather than giving them the direct answers.
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Remember, work doesn’t always mean writing code together for half an hour. It encompasses being present for whatever your mentee needs. So, if Danny wants to come to a session and discuss how technical interviews are daunting or uncertainty about where to apply, I'm ready to support those kinds of questions just as much as I am to work on coding together.
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On the flip side, sometimes Mary leads the session, demonstrating her work at Paperless Post and showcasing how an organized team operates—something you often don’t learn at boot camps or through online tutorials. This leads us to the importance of respect in mentorship. Both mentors and mentees lead busy lives. Mentors should encourage mentees to bring specific questions or topics of interest to the sessions.
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For example, I might go into a pairing session wondering how I could optimize an Active Record query and what SQL lies behind it. During that session, we can delve deep into the subject at hand. As mentors, it is also critical that we show up without expectations and stay present. There are a myriad of distractions that can occur, like cooking dinner or doing laundry, but the most important part is committing that time for each other.
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Another crucial note is that every problem, no matter how small it may seem, is worth the mentor's time. Especially when a mentee is just diving into programming, every concept is novel and often overwhelming. As mentors, we can sometimes forget how challenging it is during that learning phase, but it’s imperative to remain patient and supportive.
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And for mentees, it's always a good idea to have a backup plan in mind for the session, such as a coding problem from a resource like Project Euler, or a technical interview question. Come prepared with something that you feel might be challenging which allows the time to be maximized during the session.
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Now, why do we engage in mentorship relationships, and what is the ultimate purpose? Fundamentally, it's an investment in people and learning. From the mentee's perspective, the benefits are clear; they acquire vast amounts of knowledge and insight into how their mentor approaches problems.
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Meanwhile, for mentors, it’s more about making long-term investments whose benefits may not be immediate. One significant gain is motivational—this positive drive to help others tends to be strongest among those who are not quite juniors yet are not entirely senior, fostering personal fulfillment and satisfaction.
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For instance, studies confirm that mentoring feeds our sense of purpose within organizations. Helping junior developers develop and progress enriches our own experience and keeps us connected to the spirit of growth and learning. This creates a sense of fulfillment that bolsters employee happiness as well.
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Ultimately, what Danny and I hope to achieve is access to each other’s networks—connecting with varied individuals who we can learn from or offer opportunities to. Mentorship fosters deeper connections and ultimately allows us to help each other navigate job searches, expanding our horizons much further.
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Thank you.
