Jamis Buck
Second Wind
#burnout
#mental-health
#personal-development
#work-life-balance
#ruby-community
#stress-management
#developer-experience
Second Wind
by Jamis BuckThe video titled "Second Wind" by Jamis Buck, presented at the MountainWest RubyConf 2016, addresses the pervasive issue of burnout, particularly in professional environments. Buck draws from personal experience to illustrate the signs, causes, and strategies for overcoming burnout, using both storytelling and technical insights.
Key Points Discussed:
- Burnout as Paralysis: Buck compares burnout to Bell's palsy, describing it as a form of paralysis that inhibits one's ability to perform effectively in daily life, both personally and professionally.
- Personal Anecdote: He shares his own struggle with Bell's palsy, illustrating how the inability to express himself physically affected his mental state, paralleling this with his experiences of burnout.
- Symptoms of Burnout: Buck lists various signs of burnout including:
- Impaired concentration
- Isolation
- Lack of productivity
- Emotional symptoms such as anger, anxiety, and depression
- Identifying Causes: He mentions Christina Maslach's framework for understanding burnout, emphasizing that it can result from mismatches in various areas including control, reward, community, fairness, and values.
- Overcoming Burnout: Buck outlines practical strategies to combat burnout:
- Identify root causes using the "Five Whys" technique
- Enhance physical health through diet and exercise
- Take breaks and reassess life goals
- Employ positive thinking and mindfulness practices
- Find fulfilling roles that align with personal values
- Importance of Recovery: He stresses that recovery is a personal responsibility and encourages professionals to prepare for potential burnout by establishing a financial safety net and continuously learning new skills.
Conclusions and Takeaways:
Buck concludes that recognizing the signs of burnout is crucial, as is taking proactive steps toward recovery and prevention. His message emphasizes that with the right strategies and self-awareness, it is possible to regain control and find satisfaction in both work and life. The importance of community support and open discussions about mental health in professional settings is also highlighted, reflecting the need for greater awareness around burnout issues.
00:00:00
Hello, everyone!
00:00:22
Next up, we have Jamis Buck, who, as I mentioned yesterday, is the godfather of all things related to Ruby.
00:00:29
We wouldn't be here without him, and we're happy to have him back. Thanks, Jamis.
00:00:38
Alright, I wanted to start with a little exercise.
00:00:44
What I want all of you to do is try to relax the left side of your face. Just relax it.
00:00:50
In fact, put a hand on your cheek to ensure that you're not moving any muscles on the left side of your face.
00:00:56
Now, with the right side of your face, I want you to grin with all your might.
00:01:02
Raise your cheeks, bring out your smile, and open your mouth a little.
00:01:07
But keep the left side of your face perfectly calm. It's harder than you think, isn't it?
00:01:13
You probably look a bit goofy. Hold that thought, and maybe take a picture.
00:01:21
Okay, so what was that all about?
00:01:26
On January nineteenth, something interesting happened to me.
00:01:38
For several days prior, everything I ate tasted like wintergreen.
00:01:44
I like wintergreen, so it wasn't that big of a deal, but it was just weird.
00:01:51
I scrubbed my tongue with my toothbrush, thinking there might be some fungus.
00:01:56
But nothing fixed it; no mouthwash seemed to work. I was a little concerned, but I didn't freak out too much. I thought it would just go away.
00:02:10
On January nineteenth, I woke up and noticed a strange sensation in my face.
00:02:18
As I went into the bathroom to shave and brush my teeth, I realized the left side of my face was slow to respond.
00:02:27
I tried smiling, but the left side wouldn’t go up as far as the right side.
00:02:34
I started to freak out a little, thinking, 'tumor, stroke, what’s going on?'
00:02:41
It totally freaked me out, but it was the onset of something really bizarre that had happened to me since puberty.
00:02:52
I quickly got into the doctor, explained my symptoms.
00:02:59
I told him I wasn’t numb— I just couldn’t move it as much.
00:03:07
He diagnosed me with Bell's palsy.
00:03:14
How many of you here have ever had Bell's palsy? Anyone? Okay, so this will be news to a few.
00:03:20
How many of you know someone who has had Bell's palsy? A few others.
00:03:31
It is a really weird condition. Now, this was news to me, but apparently, there's a nerve that gets affected.
00:03:39
There's this thing called the seventh cranial nerve, and I’m not a doctor.
00:03:46
But apparently, some of the cranial nerve comes from behind your head, wraps around and goes through your inner ear.
00:03:53
It spreads across the face to control facial expressions.
00:03:59
This includes everything from blinking your eye to rolling your tongue.
00:04:06
Anything involving that side of your face is controlled by this seventh cranial nerve.
00:04:14
Weird things happen when that nerve malfunctions, and no one is really sure what causes it.
00:04:20
I think there are many different factors, but Bell's palsy happens when something pinches or traumatizes that nerve.
00:04:26
A few days before, I had had an earache in my left ear, and I wondered if that was related.
00:04:35
The doctor reassured me not to worry; he said it would go away.
00:04:42
He prescribed some medication to help speed recovery.
00:04:49
Essentially, he told me to just wait it out.
00:04:57
Sure enough, after a few days, it got worse.
00:05:03
I could smile just fine on one side, while the other side was a different story.
00:05:09
Together, it made my face look lopsided.
00:05:16
I would put my hand on my left cheek and strain with all my might just to get any movement.
00:05:23
There was nothing— it felt completely dead.
00:05:31
Within a few days, my face was entirely paralyzed on that side.
00:05:36
It's amazing how many things you can’t do when your face is half-paralyzed.
00:05:43
You can’t chew properly. It’s so awkward.
00:05:50
Food would just fall out of my mouth.
00:05:57
You feel like you’ve just been to the dentist.
00:06:01
You don’t want to go out to eat because you look ridiculous with food falling from your mouth.
00:06:08
You can’t blink. I would squeeze my eyes shut as tight as I could, but nothing happened.
00:06:13
Except for a slight closing of my eye.
00:06:19
I had to carry a tissue with me to close my eye so it wouldn't dry out.
00:06:25
But on top of that, my tears would water constantly.
00:06:32
At night, I had to tape my eye shut to prevent it from drying out.
00:06:42
If you've never slept with your eye taped shut, you're missing out.
00:06:47
It’s not as fun as it sounds.
00:06:50
I couldn’t wink; I couldn’t chew; I couldn’t roll my tongue.
00:06:57
I used to be a whistler. How many of you like to whistle?
00:07:03
I whistle all the time, and it probably drives people nuts.
00:07:09
But I couldn’t whistle. The left side of my mouth was just too weak.
00:07:17
Another crazy thing is that I couldn't say "p's" and "f's" with half a face.
00:07:27
Try it! Put your index finger in the left corner of your mouth.
00:07:32
Just try to say "feet" or "fiber". This is fun, right?
00:07:39
I tried to make the most of it. I tried to have fun.
00:07:44
I joked with my kids about it. My dad, who was living with us at the time.
00:07:51
He asked, 'I'm sorry, Jamis. I'm really sorry about your face.'
00:07:57
I found that so hilarious; I laughed and laughed.
00:08:05
I told him I would use that as a new greeting, 'Hey Joe, nice to meet you, sorry about your face.'
00:08:11
My kids thought it was the weirdest thing, especially because I couldn't close my left eye.
00:08:19
You just see the lights, and it can be a bit freaky.
00:08:25
I tried to make it fun. I would call it my 'super face.'
00:08:33
Except I couldn't say "p's" and "f's," so it came out as 'super face'.
00:08:40
Even now, when I'm fully recovered, my kids still say, 'Say, super face, Dad!'
00:08:48
But when you can only smile with half your face, it feels fake.
00:08:58
Even though I was trying to smile with both sides, it felt like a fake smile.
00:09:04
Not being able to smile genuinely— it messes with your mind.
00:09:10
I really struggled with depression because of it.
00:09:17
In reality, I was diagnosed on the nineteenth.
00:09:24
Within a few days, my left side became completely paralyzed.
00:09:30
By the thirtieth, I was able to twitch a muscle.
00:09:39
It reminded me of that scene in The Princess Bride.
00:09:43
Where the Man in Black has been mostly dead all day, and they try to get him to move.
00:09:55
I felt similar looking in the mirror, twitching my mouth a little bit.
00:10:02
By the fourth, I could almost whistle; it was a significant moral victory.
00:10:09
By the seventh, I had about fifty percent functionality back.
00:10:16
And by the fourteenth, I was as good as new.
00:10:24
The whole ordeal felt like it lasted an eternity.
00:10:33
Psychologically, it messed with me a lot.
00:10:41
I couldn’t smile, whistle, or do the things I loved to do.
00:10:49
I tried to puff my cheek out, but it always leaked.
00:10:56
My kids found that hilarious.
00:11:02
Every little thing I couldn’t do felt bizarre.
00:11:07
So what's the point of this story? Let’s rewind a few years.
00:11:14
Back in August 2005, I released a tool called Switched.
00:11:21
How many of you remember Switched? A few hands, great.
00:11:28
A few months later, it had to be renamed to Capistrano due to trademark issues.
00:11:36
How many of you are familiar with Capistrano? A few more this time.
00:11:42
This feels like ancient history, but it was an exciting project.
00:11:48
I had so much fun and loved the community that built around it.
00:11:54
I also loved the technical challenges.
00:12:01
Working with 37signals to create the tool was a fantastic experience.
00:12:08
They funded it, and I had creative control over it.
00:12:16
But by 2008, my circumstances began to change.
00:12:24
I was working with Mark Umbraco, and we were set to teach seminars about Capistrano.
00:12:32
It was really exciting at first, but then things took a turn.
00:12:38
When we mentioned this to DHH, he pointed out it was a potential conflict of interest.
00:12:44
He was well within his rights and ultimately, he was probably correct.
00:12:51
But in my mind, it felt like a punch to the gut.
00:13:00
This was something I loved, and suddenly, it felt taken away from me.
00:13:07
I blame no one but my own misplaced expectations.
00:13:13
It changed my perception of my work entirely.
00:13:19
That event marked the beginning of my decline.
00:13:25
In 2010, I did write a few blog posts that helped me a little.
00:13:31
But by the fall of 2011, I was so overwhelmed that I shut down my blog.
00:13:39
I just exported it as static HTML and left it behind.
00:13:46
In 2012, I stopped tweeting; I said, I'm done.
00:13:53
And by 2013, I realized something wasn't right with me.
00:14:00
I sought help from a psychiatrist.
00:14:07
I talked with my bosses about it.
00:14:14
They said, 'Just take care of yourself.'
00:14:20
The problem was I couldn’t find a specialist in my area.
00:14:27
So I kind of self-medicated. I wrote a lot.
00:14:35
I wrote stories for my eyes only, featuring first-person dialogues with my psychiatrist.
00:14:43
It sounds ridiculous, but it was remarkably therapeutic.
00:14:51
I learned a lot about what I was feeling, but it still wasn’t enough.
00:14:59
About a year later, I quit my dream job.
00:15:06
Leaving Basecamp was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.
00:15:14
I loved that job more than any other I’ve ever had.
00:15:21
But I left not because I was dissatisfied, but because I couldn't do it anymore.
00:15:28
Here’s a code example. Can you see the bug?
00:15:34
It's an easy one. Raise your hand when you find it.
00:15:42
'Raise area times radius plus pi.' Not a difficult bug.
00:15:50
But at that time, if I looked at that code, I just felt exhausted.
00:15:57
I would immediately check my email instead of focusing.
00:16:06
I'd say, 'Let me just play Kerbal Space Program for a bit.'
00:16:13
Anyone who’s played it knows you can’t just play for 15 minutes.
00:16:20
My productivity had dwindled to about ten percent of what it used to be.
00:16:30
I realized it wasn't fair to Jason and David to keep paying me.
00:16:39
It was terrifying to make that decision.
00:16:45
But Jason and David were incredibly supportive.
00:16:52
They helped me do what I needed to do.
00:16:58
This emotional paralysis brought everything back to mind.
00:17:06
Burnout is a form of paralysis as well.
00:17:14
When you can’t do what you used to love.
00:17:21
I couldn't motivate myself to work. I tried everything.
00:17:28
I tried Pomodoro, rewarding myself with Cadbury cream eggs.
00:17:34
Anyone who knows me knows I'm addicted to them.
00:17:42
I tried convincing myself to work for just fifteen minutes.
00:17:50
Nothing worked. I couldn't get motivated.
00:17:56
No matter how much I stared in the mirror, I couldn't make my muscles twitch.
00:18:04
I was totally done and it was terrifying.
00:18:12
This was an exciting time to be at Basecamp.
00:18:19
We were in the midst of releasing the new Basecamp.
00:18:27
They hadn’t just renamed the company back from 37signals; they were shutting down old products.
00:18:34
So many changes were happening, yet I couldn’t feel the excitement.
00:18:42
In my research, I discovered many signs of burnout.
00:18:50
If you experience one or two, it might not matter. I checked most of the boxes.
00:18:57
Impaired concentration? Absolutely.
00:19:06
Isolation? Definitely.
00:19:13
Lack of productivity? Oh, yes.
00:19:19
Depression? Anger? Anxiety? Loss of enjoyment? You bet.
00:19:26
I experienced almost all of it.
00:19:34
So what do you do about it?
00:19:42
First, you need to look at the cause.
00:19:49
There's a psychologist named Christina Maslach who identified mismatches.
00:19:55
People often think they get burned out from working too hard.
00:20:03
Work overload is one of the causes, but there are others as well.
00:20:09
I wasn’t overworked at Basecamp when I burned out.
00:20:17
It was actually my perception of control that caused the problem.
00:20:25
When the rug was pulled out from under me, I felt utterly helpless.
00:20:32
Lack of control led to my downward spiral.
00:20:40
If you feel a lack of control, you might also be at risk for burnout.
00:20:46
Another cause is insufficient reward.
00:20:52
Reward can be salary, but it can be a combination of things too.
00:21:01
At Basecamp, I had excellent benefits.
00:21:09
Every three years, I got a one-month sabbatical.
00:21:16
There was no insufficiency of reward for me.
00:21:24
Breakdown of community? Not a problem here.
00:21:31
I loved my coworkers; they formed an amazing community.
00:21:37
But maybe you feel isolated or disconnected.
00:21:44
Absence of fairness? If you feel things aren’t balanced, that can lead to burnout.
00:21:52
Conflicting values can cause burnout as well.
00:21:59
I love Basecamp and my bosses; they’re generous and amazing.
00:22:06
But I don’t like being around profanity.
00:22:14
Sometimes, it felt as if the culture glorified it.
00:22:20
It bothered me, and it might have contributed to my burnout.
00:22:26
If you feel your company’s values conflict with yours, it can lead to burnout.
00:22:35
However, the good news is you can overcome it!
00:22:43
I feel like I've overcome my burnout.
00:22:49
I've been productive with client projects, writing code for fun.
00:22:55
It has changed me, though. I'm different now.
00:23:02
I’m not the prolific programmer I used to be.
00:23:09
I realize there’s more to life than just coding.
00:23:15
So I program less but do other things more.
00:23:22
That’s a healthy reality.
00:23:30
How to overcome burnout? There is a path.
00:23:39
First, identify why you are feeling burned out.
00:23:46
You can use the Five Whys technique.
00:23:53
Ask why, get an answer, then ask why again until you uncover a root cause.
00:24:01
It won’t be a quick sit-down task.
00:24:08
This may take days or weeks of pondering.
00:24:15
Getting back to basics is crucial.
00:24:22
Look at your physical health: diet and hydration.
00:24:29
Studies show that exercise can reduce stress.
00:24:38
If you are feeling burned out, are you exercising? Are you eating well?
00:24:44
Take breaks. I took two sabbaticals.
00:24:51
The key was getting away for a whole year after quitting Basecamp.
00:24:58
I didn't touch a computer for three months.
00:25:07
That was essential for me to realize there’s more to life.
00:25:14
Reassess your goals—what do you want?
00:25:21
Is your current position helping you fulfill those?
00:25:28
Maybe it’s time to say no politely.
00:25:34
Don’t take on more work than you can handle.
00:25:41
I’ve struggled with saying no, wanting to help everyone.
00:25:48
But when you’re recovering, you need to rest.
00:25:56
Positive thinking can help. When you're depressed, the world seems dark.
00:26:02
I’m fortunate not to struggle with chronic depression.
00:26:09
But if your burnout leads to depression, focus on positive thoughts.
00:26:16
Lastly, find a role that fits you.
00:26:24
If your current position isn’t fulfilling your needs, look elsewhere.
00:26:32
It’s terrifying switching careers at first, but take control.
00:26:39
Many of you are self-employed. Life goes on.
00:26:47
How do you prevent burnout? Keep a stress diary.
00:26:58
Identify what stresses you out and why.
00:27:05
Over weeks, look for patterns related to your stressors.
00:27:12
Track your progress. Monitor what you accomplish daily.
00:27:19
Mindfulness meditation has gained a lot of attention lately.
00:27:27
It’s a great tool to relieve stress and understand your feelings.
00:27:37
Schedule downtime. Don't burn out!
00:27:43
Take a 20-minute nap; it's remarkably rejuvenating!
00:27:50
Get out; read a book, or take a walk.
00:27:54
Change your location.
00:28:01
And here’s a unique idea: write yourself a fan letter.
00:28:07
Express gratitude to yourself for being awesome.
00:28:13
There's a wealth of literature on job burnout available.
00:28:20
There's even a journal dedicated to burnout research.
00:28:27
But there are ways to brace for it.
00:28:35
Get savings! You might need to take significant time off.
00:28:42
Do you have savings to support you during that time?
00:28:48
If you’re out of work with no savings, it’s terrifying.
00:28:54
It's easier to leave a toxic situation if you have a nest egg.
00:29:01
Learn new hobbies—keep yourself engaged.
00:29:09
Always be learning! When I was in Utah, I became obsessed with birds.
00:29:16
I learned to identify bird species in my backyard.
00:29:24
It became a brief obsession, but it prepared me for when I had to stop working.
00:29:30
If you're burned out, your responsibility is to recover.
00:29:38
You don't owe it to anyone but yourself to get better.
00:29:45
If you’re okay now, your responsibility is to prepare.
00:29:52
You owe it to yourself and your employer to remain healthy.
00:30:01
Thank you for listening!
00:30:05
Are there any questions?
00:30:12
Is it true that burnout is more prevalent in developer communities?
00:30:19
Not exactly. It’s prevalent in many professional realms.
00:30:26
I read an article about burnout among professional women.
00:30:34
Burnout exists in various fields; it’s not just related to programming.
00:30:42
How did I recognize my burnout?
00:30:48
I was in denial for a long time. It took a while to acknowledge it.
00:30:55
When I became my own psychiatrist, everything became clearer.
00:31:01
That realization came during 2013.
00:31:09
It was a gradual decline from that Capistrano incident in 2008.
00:31:16
I worked along with David and Jason; they supported me through everything.
00:31:24
To help ease my stress, I returned to recreational programming.
00:31:30
I wrote my book, 'Mazes for Programmers', and that was therapeutic.
00:31:38
Gradually, the joy returned when I found other interests.
00:31:45
Yes, it took about a year before I felt fully recovered.
00:31:54
Do you need more than one of those mismatches to face burnout?
00:32:01
You can be at risk for burnout from just one mismatch.
00:32:07
It can vary in severity; minor issues can accumulate.
00:32:14
If there’s discontent, address it before it spirals.
00:32:20
Could my reaction in 2008 have been prevented?
00:32:28
It’s possible I could’ve incorporated techniques to ease stress.
00:32:36
Ultimately, burnout has helped me discover new passions.
00:32:43
It taught me that I could be self-employed.
00:32:49
That's been an enlightening experience for me.
00:32:56
Burnout affected my family too.
00:33:04
The warning signs of burnout impacted my home life.
00:33:11
Anger and irritability crept in; I withdrew from my family.
00:33:19
My wife was worried. We talked about quitting since 2012.
00:33:27
The fear of uncertainty kept us from making that leap.
00:33:34
Even though I didn't know if it affected my children.
00:33:40
My wife had concerns, and that's all that really mattered.
00:33:47
Ultimately, through the year when I wasn’t working, we talked a lot.
00:33:55
Talking through our issues became a key part of the healing process.
00:34:01
Thank you for your attention. Any more questions?
00:34:07
I appreciate being here to share my story!
00:34:14
Let’s continue these discussions and support each other.
00:34:21
Life can be challenging, but so rewarding when we work through it together.
