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Hello! Thanks for the warm welcome; that's very kind. Welcome to my talk, this is "Trans Eye for the Cis Ally." My name is Julien, and I use they/them pronouns.
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I used to be a cartoonist; now I'm a software engineer. I've been working as a programmer for the last four and a half years at Agrilist, which is an indoor agriculture management platform. We are hiring, so feel free to talk to me if you're interested in learning more about that.
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In my spare time, I enjoy powerlifting and hanging out with my very cute dog, whose name is JPG. I also enjoy obsessively reading about the details of Freddie Mercury's life, and I'm a bit of a queer superfan.
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Before we dive into the actual topic of the talk, I feel like I need to give a little background regarding "Queer Eye" so we're all on the same page. "Queer Eye" is a show on Netflix that, on its surface, is a makeover show where five gay guys take one person each episode and makeover their hair, clothes, house, and cooking abilities, but most importantly, their feelings.
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Usually, it's someone who's had a really hard time in their life and has struggled in some way. The Fab Five, as they're called, come together and help them get their whole life together. Almost every episode of the show ends up being really emotional.
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Even though I'm definitely a superfan, I also don't think it's perfect, and there are many valid critiques of various aspects of the show. While I won't be talking about those critiques during this talk, I am more than happy to discuss them in the hall or on Twitter later.
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So, what does that have to do with anything? Why are we talking about this right now? This talk is called "Trans Eye for the Cis Ally," a play on the original version of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," which I have never watched, so don’t ask me anything about it. Honestly, it’s really different from modern "Queer Eye,” so I was just being clever.
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In this scenario, I'm the trans eye. If you're here, you're likely interested in making your workplaces and events more inclusive for trans people, which is fantastic. The truth is, there are so many small and some larger actions you can take to ensure that your existing trans coworkers and community members have a positive experience.
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Moreover, even if you don’t currently have any trans coworkers or community members, you're still providing a space and experience that will be welcoming in the future. Let’s start with the basics—actually, not even the basics, but the basics of the basics—what does it mean to be trans?
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In simple terms, being trans means you don’t identify with the gender you were assigned at birth, and that’s it. Not everyone who feels this way identifies as trans, but the word is available for those who want to use it. For example, a trans man is someone assigned female at birth who later recognizes as male, while a trans woman is someone assigned male at birth who later identifies as female. It’s really not that complicated.
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Transgender, trans, cisgender, and cis are adjectives. People are not "transgendered" or "cisgendered," so just to be respectful, please use the correct language. Now, what about non-binary? Non-binary literally means that your gender doesn’t fit into the male/female binary. It can be some combination or even an absence of male and female.
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There's a common misconception that being non-binary means someone assigned female at birth who leans a little masculine, but in reality, non-binary can manifest in countless ways. It's not a one-size-fits-all label; it can be one infinite way to identify. Technically, non-binary people fall under the trans umbrella, but not everyone identifies as trans, and that’s okay.
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It’s essential to understand that you don’t have to fully understand someone’s experience to treat them with respect and dignity. I don’t know what it’s like to be cis or straight, but that doesn’t prevent me from treating others with respect. You don’t need to completely comprehend someone’s identity to show them kindness and respect.
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Pronouns, however, are a perfect example of something where people often misstep. When someone first comes out to you as trans or you meet a trans person, they might want you to use different pronouns than you’re accustomed to, and that could throw you off. For example, they might prefer they/them pronouns, which might seem like a foreign concept if you’ve never encountered it before.
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The most important action you can take is to simply try. You don’t have to fully understand, but if you mess up or someone corrects you, just say, "I'm so sorry," and correct yourself. Don't make a big deal out of it; with practice, it will become second-nature.
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While we’re on the topic of pronouns, I should mention that a person's pronouns are not a preference. People will often say ‘preferred pronouns’ when referring to trans individuals, but in reality, everyone has pronouns. They are not preferable; they are simply what we use.
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Some people mistakenly believe that using they/them pronouns for everyone is an easy solution, but this can be harmful. If you have a trans person who uses he/him pronouns and you refer to them as they/them, you're still misgendering them. You should be committed to learning the correct pronouns for everyone.
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Now that we’ve gone over some basics, let’s discuss what you can do right now to create a more welcoming environment for trans and non-binary people in your company, at events, or in your meetup groups. Back to pronouns: as a non-binary person, it's impossible for anyone to guess my pronouns just by looking at me.
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My life often feels like a series of awkward situations where I have to find a way to inform people of my pronouns. This can also be the case for binary trans people, who may find it challenging for others to recognize their pronouns right away.
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A simple way to help mitigate this issue is to be proactive. Ensure that people have the opportunity to state their pronouns at the beginning of a meeting when a new person is introduced. Have whoever is leading the meeting start by stating their name and pronouns, encouraging everyone else to do the same.
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Normalize this practice. If you have an employee page on your website, make sure everyone includes their pronouns. This also helps potential employees see that you intend to be a trans-inclusive space, which is helpful.
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The messaging should be the same for events. Wherever a person’s name is listed, try to include pronouns. Always offer pronoun stickers or pins, or create an opportunity for people to write their pronouns on their name badges. Make sure the writing is large enough for others to see easily, and write your own pronouns too, even if you’re cis.
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Encourage everyone, even those you know are cisgender, to do the same. Make introducing pronouns a routine part of introductions at events. I appreciate people who advocate for this. It's completely fine if you haven’t made it a routine yet.
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Share an example: I participated at a meetup in Portland called DonutJS, where they provided pronoun stickers, and I loved that! It’s essential for everyone involved. If you're interviewing candidates, ensure everyone introduces themselves with their name and pronouns, and ask the candidates to do the same.
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If your company or event uses Slack, ensure everyone includes their pronouns in their profile or display name. Don’t make it something only trans people deal with; normalize it so that it becomes common practice.
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If you have a trans employee, it might be worth asking them directly what they would like you to do if someone misgenders them in a meeting or other settings. Don't assume everyone has the confidence to correct others; especially for new employees, they might feel hesitant.
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At the same time, don’t assume the person wants you to correct anybody on their behalf; just ask them in advance what they’re comfortable with.
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If you've hired a trans person or someone who has just come out, and you're unsure if something is okay to ask, simply ask. For instance, if you have a non-binary employee and typically share rooms with the same gender employees at a conference, don't make assumptions about who they’d want to share with.
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In my case, my employer asked me about my rooming desires, which I appreciated. However, know that not everything is appropriate to ask. You can gauge if it’s acceptable to ask someone about a certain topic.
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Don’t ask if they’ve had surgery; that’s invasive. And a side note: it’s important to remember that questions about their bodies, especially about their genitals, are never appropriate.
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It is quite common for a trans person to have others inquire about their bodies in a grossly casual manner, which can lead to negative situations. This has not happened to me personally, but I know it happens to others.
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Regarding health insurance, don’t wait until a trans person interviews at your company to find out if you have trans-inclusive health coverage. Familiarize yourself with your insurance coverage today because most insurance companies have sections addressing what's covered regarding trans healthcare.
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It's vital to know this information before someone inquires about your stance on trans-inclusive health insurance because being unprepared doesn’t reflect well.
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Let’s discuss bathrooms, as those often come up. As a cis person, you may haven’t thought much about bathrooms, but for a lot of trans people, including myself, it can be a major source of anxiety.
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One reason I enjoy working remotely is that I don’t have to deal with the anxiety that can accompany using a gendered office bathroom. Even when the environment is friendly, I often feel a level of anxiety.
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Sometimes, I wait until the men are gone or in a meeting before using the men's room. There's often only one stall in men's bathrooms, and since I can't stand to pee, it can become quite awkward.
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Sometimes, I leave events to use a gender-neutral bathroom nearby or in the basement when I don’t know the bathroom situation ahead of time. Occasionally, I stop drinking liquids hours in advance just to avoid using the bathroom unless I'm confident in its use.
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If you're hosting an event, it would be greatly appreciated if you could investigate the bathroom situation in advance so that trans individuals feel more comfortable knowing what to expect.
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This might seem like an unusual tip, but sometimes I have a bathroom buddy who will scout a restroom for me. If I'm concerned about how it may appear or what's happening, having a buddy helps ease my anxiety, especially in spaces with many masculine individuals.
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It's disappointing to leave a social event or networking opportunity due to bathroom anxiety. I've left gatherings early simply because I felt unconfident about using the bathroom, which means missing potential valuable interactions.
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When traveling to and from an airport with a trans coworker, you might not realize how arduous it can be for them to move through TSA. Not much can be done about the TSA’s problematic practices, but you can support your coworker.
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TSA scanners require staff to decide quickly whether to classify an individual as male or female, which can result in uncomfortable situations for trans folks. In the past, I’ve had to jump back out of the scanning machine and divulge that I have breasts to avoid invasive pat-downs.
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Transitions can be unpredictable, and how trans individuals are treated at TSA can vary significantly based on factors that are out of their control. When accompanying a trans coworker, present yourself as supportive and be on alert for any instances of mistreatment.
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If your coworker experiences poor treatment at TSA, you can serve as their witness or record the event with your phone if it escalates. Being a supportive colleague can make a significant difference when dealing with TSA-related experiences.
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Being treated poorly by TSA is a demoralizing way to start any work trip, and there are informative articles about the experience of traveling as a trans person that I encourage you to read.
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Additionally, consider how much friendlier your workplace could be if employees are allowed to work remotely, whether typically or occasionally. Being able to work from home seems to alleviate many challenges faced by trans individuals, especially regarding bathrooms.
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Moreover, some trans employees may go through phases of severe gender dysphoria, which deeply affects their ability to function at work. During those moments, it’s tremendously easier to work from home.
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I’ve had experiences where clothing fit over my binder or binding itself contributed to feelings of dysphoria. On certain occasions, dysphoria triggered panic attacks, leading me to leave events entirely.
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When I worked from home, I didn’t have to worry about being bound up in an uncomfortable binder for hours or wear it until it was time to leave for events later.
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Allowing employees to work remotely can relieve anxiety and encourages a more productive work environment for trans individuals, which is fundamentally good for their overall wellbeing.
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As we continue to discuss struggles faced by marginalized groups, it's crucial to acknowledge that trans rights are constantly being contested in mainstream media.
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It can feel overwhelming to see constant news coverage about topics that personally affect trans individuals, leading to feelings of helplessness or hopelessness.
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Considering this experience, I highly recommend reading Laura Hogan’s blog post from 2017 titled "Managering in Terrible Times," which addresses these sentiments and provides helpful recommendations.
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When coworkers express public support for trans rights, it can make a significant positive impact. Even subtle gestures, like a simple retweet or displaying trans flags in the workplace, offer reassurance that employees are supported.
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I've noticed events branded for women in tech aiming to be inclusive often lead to confusion about who they’re truly welcoming. Instead of clarifying their inclusivity, they come up with phrasing like 'women and non-binary' or something even more obscure that often misses the mark.
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Women are still a marginalized gender in tech, often facing discrimination and misogyny that must be addressed. Many of these groups started from a place of solidarity among women, which is essential.
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However, as awareness has increased, it is important to further include trans women and other marginalized genders. Many spaces often neglect trans men who face similar discrimination and issues in tech.
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Incorporating all marginalized genders in such spaces requires that planners reflect on their mission. Organizations need to thoughtfully consider their terminology to ensure inclusivity without excluding anyone.
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If event organizers and group members truly desire intersections of identity, an inclusive approach is required. You might not feel obligated to accept everyone, but it's crucial to ask why certain groups are excluded.
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In several instances, groups also exclude trans men, which is misguided because all non-cis men and women experience challenges in tech that need uniting rather than division. If inclusive, groups should reassess how they position themselves.
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If you’ve made the decision to be inclusive, I’d encourage you to characterize your mission and how it reflects inclusion in your name. Consider terms like 'marginalized genders' to describe your group. This provides a definition that avoids exclusive language.
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It is also effective to clarify what marginalized genders mean when promoting your initiative. If you're unsure, consulting with professionals in diversity and inclusion could provide necessary guidance.
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Lastly, I want to provide a quick tip that didn't quite fit anywhere else: don't look up a trans person’s previous name online. This can lead to serious discomfort and scrutiny from those unaware of a person's past.
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Sometimes, individuals may accidentally bring attention to a trans person’s previous name, and it can have devastating effects. Avoid Googling someone simply out of curiosity—it’s a sensitive matter.
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In conclusion, everything I’ve mentioned is actionable today. Don't wait to adopt inclusive practices until you're interviewing or hiring a trans person.
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Remember that a closeted trans person could be in your workplace right now, and being proactive about inclusion can make all the difference to those individuals.
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I ended up at my current company because they already engage in several inclusive practices, making it clear that this would be a supportive environment for me.
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I’m open to discussing any of these topics further after the talk, so feel free to reach out to me in the hall or tweet at me. I know there are numerous matters I couldn’t touch on today, but if you have complex inquiries, I might refer you to consulting services.
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Just remember: I don't speak for all trans individuals, and if a trans person expresses something different from my perspective, please respect their views.
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Finally, I want to say sorry that all my "Queer Eye" references didn’t have sufficient representation for Bobby. Here’s one of the few Bobby gifts I could find that wasn't silly. I hope you understand why there’s been a lack of representation in this talk.
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Once again, my name is Julien, I am @_jb_fitz on Twitter, and I'm excited to connect with other trans and non-binary tech workers. Please feel free to say hello if you see me or start a conversation—thank you so much.