On The Outside Looking In

Networking

Cindy Backman

3 talks

#emotional-intelligence

On The Outside Looking In

by Cindy Backman

In her talk titled "On The Outside Looking In" at RubyConf 2014, Cindy Backman shares her unique perspective as someone who has attended numerous programming conferences over the past two years, particularly within the Ruby community. As someone who initially felt like an outsider, Cindy reflects on her meaningful experiences and the supportiveness of the Ruby community.

Key points discussed include:

Personal Background: Cindy introduces herself as the Operations Manager at Confreaks, a part of the conference in which she has recorded and participated. She shares her journey from working as a student loan collections agent to fully embracing her role in the tech community.
The Ruby Community: She expresses her admiration for the Ruby community, noting its welcoming nature and willingness to help newcomers feel included. This community stands out to her compared to others she’s experienced.
Learning Through Involvement: Cindy discusses how watching presentations by skilled speakers, such as Ben Orenstein, has helped her understand effective presentation techniques and the importance of engaging the audience.
Networking and Connections: She emphasizes the significance of making connections at conferences, sharing how her first solo conference experience felt isolating. Over time, she has learned to approach others and build friendships, enhancing her overall experience.
Influential Figures: Cindy highlights various community leaders who inspired her, including Coraline Ada Ehmke, Sarah Mei, and Aaron Patterson. Their encouragement and enthusiasm embody the supportive culture of the Ruby community.
Encouragement to Others: Finally, Cindy urges attendees to step out of their comfort zones, build connections, and create friendships with others, emphasizing the joy of shared experiences in programming and the community.

Cindy concludes her talk by sharing a light-hearted song she created, celebrating the Ruby community and the joy of programming, encouraging everyone to maintain a spirit of collaboration and connection.

00:00:17.490 So my talk is titled 'On The Outside Looking In', and I am super, super nervous. This goes way back, but I grew up playing the trumpet in junior high, high school, and college. I was pretty good, even played with the United States Wind Ensemble and traveled a bit in Europe. I performed in front of big crowds, so this is totally different. Standing up here by myself instead of in a group, I feel like an outsider who is not a programmer or someone who codes. The only relation I have to this field is that I get to record a lot of your talks. Again, I'm really nervous, and this is the first time I've ever spoken.

00:01:10.900 This is exactly why I love the Ruby community: the support that you guys give to people. This community is definitely different than any other communities I've been to or recorded at conferences. So, who am I? My name is Cindy Backman, and my email address is [email protected]. I'm also on Twitter as @Cindy.

00:01:30.180 I'm also a wife; this is my husband, James, who gets to work with me sometimes and goes to different conferences with me. I feel really lucky to have the opportunity. I am also a mother, and this is my little blended family. My kids, William and Jessica, are on the right, while James’s kids, Jeremiah and Jordan, are on the left. They actually live in Germany with their mom and stepmom. Additionally, I am a biker; my husband and I belong to a riding club, which feels like an extended family to me. We have a lot of good times together, and riding is such a big part of my husband's life that we made it a part of our wedding when we got married last September. Our kids also love to ride with us.

00:02:44.170 At work, I am the Operations Manager for Confreaks, and I was their first full-time employee. I've been working with them for two and a half years now, and I’ve been helping to record conferences off and on since 2009.

00:03:15.910 Many of you probably know who Ben Orenstein is; I think he’s a great speaker and I’ve learned a lot about presenting from watching him. As I edit different videos, I learn a lot as well because I get to repeat a lot of talks or parts of talks. I’m going to play a clip from Ben's presentation at RailsConf in 2013.

00:03:42.130 Here’s how it sounds: When my soft palate is down, I sing something like, 'We write lots of code', but if I open it up with my soft palate lifted, it sounds like, 'We wrote lots of code'. You probably heard the difference. The way to access that soft palate lift is by thinking of yourself as a radio announcer. The difference between this voice and my normal speaking voice is the amount of soft palate lift I’m adding. So, would you sing with me? We write lots of code.' Let’s practice this together.

00:04:31.890 Oh my goodness, okay. From Ben and other speakers, I have learned that it's important to involve your audience. I would like everyone to stand up for just a moment. Now, has anyone heard of tutting or is anyone aware of it? Awesome! Tutting is a type of dance that mimics the positions of people drawn during ancient Egyptian times. I'm going to show you an example.

00:05:04.890 Okay, that looks hard, but it's really not that hard! So Ben taught an audience—a huge audience since I was recording it. He taught the audience how to sing better and then led a 60-man choir on the side. So instead of teaching you how to sing, we're going to learn this little routine together. Start with bending your knees and hunching your shoulders. That's why I love the Ruby community; you're all willing to try anything!

00:06:40.620 Before I started working for Confreaks, I worked at Discover Card as a student loan collections agent, and it was a tough job. I'm a really nice person, and trying to get people to pay their student loans—sometimes totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars—was not for me. I didn't realize how much people spent on school. At that time, I was also raising my kids as a single mom after my divorce in 2007. I did what I had to do while also trying to get into a nursing program.

00:07:10.229 I had been accepted into a nursing program, but there was a three-year wait, so I worked at Discover while working part-time with Confreaks. The owner of Confreaks just happens to be my brother, Kobe Rehnquist. I’m quite emotional, so bear with me! After my divorce, I went with him to several conferences and recorded them. It got to the point where he decided to either sell Confreaks or grow it because this isn't his main job; it's kind of a side thing. So I decided to quit my job at Discover and work full-time for Confreaks, and it's been the best decision I've ever made.

00:08:18.300 One of the things I enjoy about conferences is all the swag. I’m sure there’s some cool stuff in there. When you go to 28-30 conferences a year, you get a lot of stuff. I’ve got flash drives, beer glasses, pens, flashlights, stress balls, water bottles, beanies, frisbees, screen cleaners, sunglasses, and of course, t-shirts. I've had so many t-shirts that I've given a lot away and even used some to wash and clean my bike!

00:09:03.900 But I never thought I would be giving a talk at a programming conference, so I had gotten rid of some old t-shirts. I put together a couple of little videos of some of the shirts so you can see some of them. I didn’t realize that I had never used Keynote before because I never did talks, and it doesn’t show videos on my screen.

00:09:43.950 I wanted to mention that there are some really cool sponsor shirts out there. Then, we have the conference t-shirts! I wanted to put this year's RubyConf t-shirt on there, but I just got it before my talk and decided not to try and take a picture in a hurry. Of course, I also love stickers! I have some new Confreaks stickers, so if you want some, come and talk to me.

00:10:57.830 If any of you have ever felt like you were on the outside, I can relate. The first six months I worked full-time with Confreaks, I traveled with Kobe to conferences. I learned how to set up our equipment, and we had a lot more equipment back then. He always introduced me to his friends and colleagues, making it easier to feel part of it since I was with my brother—not just my boss. However, when I did my first conference alone, Madison Ruby in 2012, that was scary. I felt like I was on the outside because I was in a room full of people I didn't know and thought I had nothing in common with. I heard Leon Cushing speak at that conference, and it was really impactful.

00:12:17.320 He shared a quote from the Dalai Lama: "Men sacrifice their health to make money, and then they sacrifice money to recuperate their health. They are so anxious about the future that they do not enjoy the present." This is incredibly sad. I’ve met many wonderful people over the years, and they have all taught me something unique. A five-minute conversation can slightly change the way you see the world. Take the time to be the person you want to be.

00:12:39.030 This is the community I love; I've been to many different conferences, which feel quite different from this ruby community. It has taken me a long time to realize, but it’s not easy to go up to someone and talk to them, especially in this environment where I often feel out of my league. I decided it was important to make the effort and try to meet new people.

00:13:01.499 At a conference, you're there to be part of something with like-minded people who have jobs and interests similar to yours. So I had to step out of my comfort zone. After two and a half years of recording conference talks, I have a better understanding of them. But in the beginning, much of what people said went right over my head—way over my head! For example, when people talked about unicorns, this is what I saw.

00:14:05.529 When you discuss unicorns in programming, it refers to Rack HTTP server for fast clients. I read that, and I still didn’t quite understand what it meant because it was all new information. When people mentioned Factory Girl, I thought of something entirely different until I learned that it’s a library for setting up Ruby objects as test data. Then there was Frappuccino, which I liked because I thought of the caramel drinks I love, but I also learned it was described as the most irresponsible code the speaker had written.

00:15:40.110 Speaking of connections, make sure to think of how programming ties into everyday things. If you see something that sparks your interest related to coding or technology, shout it out! There are many relatable themes in tech we can all experience. Also, think about the role of REST in programming; it's the representation state transfer, an abstraction of the architecture of the World Wide Web.

00:16:49.669 There are many metaphors we can make in programming. For instance, the chef can remind us of coding teams and how they work together. Or when I think of Java, I think of calm mornings with a cup of coffee, and these beautiful artistic moments that can be captured. I’ve seen many photos related to coffee and tech.

00:18:26.070 You might find interesting overlaps between your life and programming. For example, occasionally I notice my son finds interesting comparisons in daily life that can be translated back to programming.

00:19:01.000 Speaking of inspiring individuals, I wanted to highlight some speakers who make a difference in our community.

00:19:06.990 Many speakers are superheroes to others, and this includes people like Coraline Ada Ehmke, who I had the chance to meet and converse with about potentially giving a talk myself one day! Her encouragement helped me realize it was worth submitting proposals and sharing my experiences.

00:20:01.360 Networking is vital in our community. I have met people like Zachary, who I first encountered at our camp in Germany—it's always cool to see familiar faces from different places. There’s Sarah Mei, another inspiring leader, who is passionate about her work on tech education. Having role models like her makes attending conferences even more valuable. Seeing incredible people like Ron Evans, who brings enthusiasm and joy, reinforces a supportive and friendly culture.

00:21:09.660 I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting brilliant minds like Julian Chill. His talks have kept me entertained and challenged, sparking curiosity and engagement amongst participants. I vividly remember the first time I heard him speak, it was memorable!

00:22:39.670 There’s also Aaron Patterson, a fantastic speaker, and the founder of Friday Hugs. Every Ruby conference I go to on a Friday, we share hugs to spread positivity! We also remember Jim, a community member who passed away earlier this year.

00:23:20.000 Jim exemplified the spirit of the Ruby community. He always remembered my name and made an effort to pick up conversations as if we had just met when he saw me at events. His essence was felt deeply at our conferences; when we got news of his passing, it changed the atmosphere, making everyone recognize how special he truly was.

00:24:15.899 Before I finish, I want to encourage each of you to step out of your comfort zones and really connect with others here. I would also like to mention we are free to embrace connections and friendships. If everyone could meet at least ten people during this conference, it would greatly support our community transitions.

00:25:40.510 In closing, I want to share a little song I composed for our Ruby community as part of a tribute. This song is inspired to celebrate programming, our unique quirks, and our collective joy. Collaboration, making memories, and programming is a wonderful adventure filled with discovery. Let's sing together!

00:26:40.650 Has anybody seen my code? It runs on next ruby and is awesome! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you for listening, and let’s carry on creating beautiful connections in our Ruby community!

RubyConf 2014